Whether we embark on planning a big wedding or a tiny elopement together, one of the first and most important questions we answer is: “Where the heck is this thing happening?” This question can feel big and heavy and hard. Planning any event is like painting a picture; you can’t do the fun work of selecting your subject, choosing your tools and colors, or envisioning how your interpretation will play out unless you have the canvas on an easel in front of you. So let’s talk about how to pick your canvas so we can get to coloring in your day!

First thing is first, this is going to be a whole lot easier if you take the time to complete “The Engaged Couple’s Roadmap”. That will help you outline your values as individuals and a couple; determine the “who” and “how much” of your event; and decide what makes your relationship with me (your planner) the most valuable. So if you haven’t completed that exercise already, go ahead! I’ll wait for you in the next paragraph… ;)

START HERE: THE WHO.

After coming to a common ground, consider the “agreements” you made based on “The Engaged Couple’s Roadmap” the framework of your venue selection process. Your head count — or “who” — is going to be the first factor we will look at. How many people do you want to house inside of your celebration? And what do you want their experience to be like? Here are some questions to consider; write your answers down on a piece of paper or, even better, a planning journal.

• What is the desired duration of your event? A six-hour event tends to be on the more intimate side, while an 8-12 hour event tends to be more robust. Consider who your audience is and the pace that they are able to move at.

• How do you (the couple) want to spend your time during the day? Is it adventuring and taking epic photos outdoors? Having quality conversations with your guests over delicious drinks? Throwing spears at bales of hay and drinking an IPA? Sharing a delicious family-style dinner in the middle of of a field? Take a peek at your values and reflect on what kinds of activities could bring those values to the forefront of your celebration.

• Do you want to incorporate travel into your day? A location change can be a fun way to add more adventure, newness, and a change of energy to your marriage day. That often looks like having the ceremony in one location and celebratory activities that follow in a second location. Or maybe you are couple who want to camp out in the same location for an entire weekend with family staying on site. That approach tends to have a more relaxed, easy energy to the experience. Talk about what feels like the best fit for the energy you want to call into your day. Keep in mind that a change of location takes 45+ minutes depending on the size of the group.

• What location(s) or destination(s) mean the most to you? Whether it’s a small cafe you’ve been on a hundred dates to, or a bucket list location half a world away, chances are that place calls to you for a reason. Take some time to think about the kinds of places and spaces that call to you. What about them turns you on? What kind of feeling do you get being in or thinking about that place? Is there something about the activities you do or the available scenery? Write that good stuff down.

NEXT: HOW MUCH.

Now let’s turn to the “how much”. What is the overall budget for your celebration? How much do you want to spend on the entire experience? How much canvas do you have to work with? Don’t worry about breaking this down into sub-categories; we will do that in the exercise that follows. For now, decide how much you want to set aside as a couple for your marriage experience. Here are some tips to consider:

• The average 2-person elopement budget for my couples is between $7,000 and $12,000. That often pays for an out-of-state, week-long adventure travel experience where you change location a couple times throughout the stay. It includes services like a photographer with 4-8 hours of coverage, a planner, an officiant, and a hair and make-up artist. Additional services like videography, dessert, musicians, and equipment rentals will bring the price point towards the top end of that range.

• The average 12-30 person elopement or intimate wedding budget for my couples is between $15,000 and $25,000. That often pays for an out-of-state, weekend-long adventure travel experience that houses your attendees at the same or similar sites for the duration. It includes services like a photographer with 8 hours of coverage, a planner, an officiant, a hair and make-up artist, catering, and rentals. Additional services like videography, musicians, and specialty rentals will bring the price point towards the top end of that range.

• The average 50+ person wedding budget for my couples is $250 per attendee and up. It most often includes services like a venue, photographer with 8 hours of coverage, a planner, an officiant, a hair and make-up artist, catering, a DJ/MC, and rentals. There is a big range of expenses when it comes to a wedding—and the sky is truly the limit—which is why having a planner to help you navigate which investments align with your values and desired experience helps to narrow your field of vision on what matters most.

TIME TO GATHER YOUR RESOURCES!

If your overall budget, desired experience, and “agreements” are gelling together in a symbiotic relationship, then you’re ready to pick your celebration space. Take these notes to your next meeting with your planner and, with a clear vision and resources in mind, they will be able to lend their expertise to put spaces in front of you that align with your decisions.

If, on the other hand, your budget, desired experience, and “agreements” are not quite in alignment with one another, then that is something to celebrate, too. That means you’ve taken an honest look at what you value and see that there may not be the resources to make it happen. That’s okay; I’m a big believer in NOT starting your marriage from an indebted position. As your planner, I am your person when it comes to executing your vision on an aligned budget, finding a frame that fits the canvas.

Whichever bucket you fall in, here is your final task before our next meeting: take an honest look at your resources. Are there friends or family members who want to contribute to your celebration (financially or otherwise)? Start to gather information about those resources and write it down so that we can factor them into your budgeting and decision-making process at the next meeting. I’ll see you there!

— Kate, Tapestry Creative Director