We see ceremonies created in all shapes and sizes. From two people at the top of a mountain to two hundred people gathered on a city rooftop, there is something about a ceremony that makes a special mark in your hearts on your marriage day. We often get asked about how to incorporate people from different parts of your life into a ceremony. These aren’t your “throw them a bone” ideas to satisfy your Cousin Jimmy. Rather, these are some of our favorite ways of incorporating your loved ones, near or far, into your ceremony in a meaningful and intentional manner. We hope they inspire who you invite into your marriage ritual and how they are invited.

FOR THOSE WHO HAVE A LOT TO SAY.

We start here because this category is REAL. You may have a loved one whose role in your lives merits inclusion in your ceremony, but who may be at real risk of running away with the show. We recommend putting bumper guards around their participation to help guide their contributions in a clear, meaningful direction. This often looks like being specific with your invitation to participate in your ceremony. You might ask them to offer a pre-selected reading; you may collaborate with them closely on a short, time-bound story; or you might want to incorporate them with prompts to participate in group promises coordinated by the officiant. Setting these beloved influences up for success means being specific about their participation in the ceremony so that the expectations are explicit and clear to all.

FOR THOSE WHO HAVE A SYMBOLIC ROLE.

Perhaps you have a role model or significant influence in your life that doesn’t hold the role of an officiant, may not be suited for the toast/speech atmosphere, but is worthy of great acknowledgement as you step into marriage. We loved giving these trusted influences space in the ceremony to contribute in a deep, meaningful, unique way. Whether it’s a reading, a song, a childhood story, or another expressive act, we recommend giving these symbolic humans latitude to create something truly special for your ceremony. Put some time on the schedule and dig into some ideas about what would feel authentic and creative for them. Discuss how you’d like to feature them in your day. Chances are there is a lot of history and trust in this relationship and, with your hearts combined, you can create something perfectly suited for your ceremony.

FOR PARENTS WHO WANT TO INCLUDE THEIR CHILDREN.

We love when blended families take their wedding as an opportunity to include their children in the union ritual. For larger blended families, we love seeing your children make up the whole of the bridal party. They are your ultimate partners in crime when it comes to creating a family, so why not give them a front row seat and some sweet duds on your wedding day? If some of the older siblings feel called to share good words (or words of wisdom from profound relationship poets like 50 Cent…), create space in your readings to pass the mic and give them a voice.

For smaller blended families, we love when parents call children up to the altar and read a letter written specifically for them. This can look like a step-mom making promises to her step-son, or a pair of parents committing to how they will love and raise children and create their family together. A spoken letter as part of the ceremony is a beautiful way to unite a family with ritual and create a keepsake that the family can revisit over the years as their family culture is formed.

FOR COUPLES WHO WANT TO INCLUDE THEIR PARENTS.

We love when parents have such a strong bond with the couple that the couple wants to include them in the ceremonial process. If a speech or a toast during dinner or being given away by one or two of your parents doesn’t feel monumental enough to you,  you can create a space for them in your ceremony. Whether that’s in the form of a letter they read to you, a letter you read to them about their importance and influence on your marriage, or a type of reflection that they lead, let yourself give them space you want them to have on this sacred day.

— Kate, Creative Director of Tapestry Event Co.