Seeing how the pandemic has reshaped weddings, we are wanting to ask the question: What about vow renewals? Do they have a role to play? We think that vow renewals are a great way to acknowledge and revisit your intimate ceremony without bringing the energy of a “redo” into your marriage or your follow-up celebration post-pandemic. We believe that you can acknowledge the intimate celebration and beginning of your marriage at a follow-up event without taking away from the magic of sharing your love with the groups of humans that you cherish. Why can’t we harness this time of great change to reshape a ritual that has developed a varied reputation over the years?

HOW COVID-19 HAS TRANSFORMED OUR NOTION OF CEREMONY.

It’s no secret that the worldwide pandemic has and will continue to drastically reshape the way we think about and host love celebrations. Already, we see more couples opting into elopements or smaller formats for their wedding. The adaptability and resilience shown by couples has been astounding to witness. As if these couples hadn’t already endured trials to their relationship before committing to marriage, they’ve now tackled the emotional roller coaster of wedding planning in a pandemic. What is important to us here at Tapestry is that the pandemic doesn’t halt progress on your marriage. We don’t want a pause in wedding planning to create a pause in deepening your partnership. Whatever form it takes, we want to see you continue forward on the journey with your partner. And for us, that most often means elope now, and celebrate large later.

The shift from more traditional, large weddings that focus on receptions to intimate weddings and elopements that focus on the ceremony will have a ripple effect for years to come. As a follow up event, some couples are planning a more low key reception when it becomes safe. Others are planning a big wedding re-do when the pandemic lifts. And others have simply swapped their prior plans for an elopement (period) in order to move on into their married life. Regardless of what comes next for any couple, the pandemic has played host to celebrations of love through challenge in these more intimate affairs.

If you want to create a secondary celebration of your marriage with an emphasis on ceremony, we are here for it. Enter: vow renewals.

WHAT ARE VOW RENEWALS?

So let’s start here: What do you think of when you hear the term “vow renewal”? For some, the idea of a vow renewal may trigger the following thoughts:

• “Is there something wrong with the relationship? Did something happen that would cause this couple to think they need to revisit their vows?”

• “Is there something that needs to be fixed? Has something gone wrong in the relationship over time?”

• “Does this couple just want a second wedding? Are they watching too many wedding reality shows? Is this some kind of vanity exercise?”

If you’re one of the rare birds who has attended a vow exchange that was positive in nature and clean in the energy exchange between the couple and their guests, then HELL YES that’s what we’re talking about! But frequently, these are the assumptions that guests and friends make first.

Notice how a lot of those snap judgments don’t go anywhere… positive. For whatever reason, vow renewals have received a strange wrap in the world of love celebrations, and we think it’s time that changed.

LET’S WRITE OUR OWN DEFINITION.

Notice how you may have a different reaction to an “anniversary party” than an “vow renewal”? Why does that difference exist?! They both ceremonialize love, recognize the path it has taken since the couple’s first commitment to each other, and acknowledge where the couple would like to take the relationship from today. And yet somehow, each of those terms creates a different response from our emotional center.

Can we all agree that there are some BS stories attached to the idea of a vow renewal? And can we all agree it’s time to flush those BS stories and exchange them with real love stories? With the adaptations forced in a pandemic, lots of couples aren’t getting the celebration they were promised to launch their marriage. As a result, we think it’s even more important to reclaim love celebrations in the years that follow your launch to marriage.

THE FUTURE OF VOW RENEWALS.

What if vow renewals became a custom celebration where couples can update their family rituals, renew their commitments, throw a big party that celebrates their community, or ceremonialize a unique brand of love and commitment developed by your partner since your marriage began? As your marriage evolves, chances are that there will be promises and rituals that become more or less important over the years. What if you had an opportunity to make them a part of your family culture through celebration? Vow renewals can become a couple’s unique creation with its own purpose and reasons to celebrate what has passed and what is yet to come. What if we rewrote the story of vow renewals so that, throughout our relationship, we have opportunities to rally our loved ones and commemorate their role in our evolving story?

There is so much possibility in the world of a vow renewal. There is a generation of marriages stepping into new ways to ceremonialize their love due to the reality of getting married during a pandemic. Our hope and ambition is that we can contribute to shifting the culture of vow renewals and recreate them as a home to recognize the pillars that make your relationship strong, seen, and held with those that you love. Marriage doesn’t happen in a single day; it’s a lifetime effort. Why shouldn’t your celebration of that love follow suit?

— Kate, Tapestry Creative Director