COVID-19 has us all a little lost. Even though we find ourselves at home, our emotions and anxieties are skyrocketing as the unknown continues to hang over us. We get it. And such an unfortunate consequence of this is that couples’ wedding days are having to be postponed or cancelled. Rather than just glancing over what was supposed to be such a momentous occasion, we encourage you to still give it importance. Here are some ways you can celebrate from your homes and create ceremony as a way of healing and bonding as we move through this time.

We are in tough times when it comes to celebration. In most states, we are prohibited from gathering outside of our homes. For the safety of our community, we must maintain six feet of social distance from the next person. It doesn't feel comfortable and it never feels like we're doing it the right way. We're all just trying to do our best with what we have.

For those who were planning to get married and have a wedding, these times are even heavier. There is a sense of loss and grief that comes with having to change the original vision or timing of your marriage celebration. We are lucky to work with couples who invest so much thought and attention and intention into their day, from the location to the food to the guests to the flow of experience. We know that there is nothing anyone can do or say to make up for the loss of your vision. Even the knowledge that your change of plans benefits the health and well-being of your home, community, and planet falls short of the personal loss you feel.

We don't pretend that we can make up for your loss. We don't want to cover up your grief. Whether or not you have alternative plans in place, or will soon need to make your Plan B, you also deserve the space to feel your feelings and share them with your partner. Process your hurt in a way that feels healthy and whole for you. If, on the other side of that process, it feels okay to celebrate your original date in a new way, then what follows is for you. If you need more time in the space of hurt and grief, know that those feelings are okay just as they are and that we love you.

Our Tapestry team of planners includes two 2020 brides. We not only understand what you're going through on a professional/logistical level, but also on a deeply personal level. There is a lot to process, consider, and grieve. If you're in a space to consider alternative forms of celebrating your original date, then we acknowledge you for doing some serious emotional heavy-lifting to get here. Below are some of our favorite ways of celebrating your wedding date as a couple while abiding by health and safety guidelines during quarantine. We hope that these ideas inject love and ceremony back into your day, and that you can create cherished, healing memories. There’s no reason not to honor the special date you have set aside and celebrate your love.

IDEA 1: CREATE A VOW CEREMONY.

We believe in the power of ceremony to transform any moment. Consider that it may be illegal or highly-contested to have a ceremony on your wedding day during quarantine; gathering your officiant and witnesses may fly in the face of a shelter mandate and/or put people at unnecessary risk. However, there is no reason why you can't make a ceremony of the day for yourselves. The key to a ceremony is creating an intentional space for the two of you to arrive, be present, and unite in thought and feeling.

Consider where ceremony already exists in your relationship. It may be a regular walk in your neighborhood after work, Sunday dinner without cell phones, or a road trip on a free weekend. If there are traditions that already live inside of your relationship, we invite you to set aside your day to fulfill one of those traditions and bring a reading of your vows into the space. If there aren't traditions that jump out at you, then you can create a ceremonious space by layering in items or activities that call in the feeling you want to create. Going for intimate and moody? Lower the lights, make a living room fort, pop some wine, and spark up some candles. Going for adventurous and intimate? Pack a picnic, hop in the car, find an isolated turnout to park, drop the tailgate, and share the view of the sunset. Make it special by ordering to-go from one of your favorite restaurants. Watch the sun go down on your first intentional day of marriage. Going for light and playful? Take your fur baby out on a walk, plan a stop in front of one of your favorite places or memories, and share your vows together. While grand celebration is on hold, ceremony is not.

If it’s important to include your friends and family in this moment, you can always set up a tripod and stream reciting your vows to them. Include them in your moment of reflection and ceremony as you make this day your own.

IDEA 2: TAKE AN ANNIVERSARY PHOTO-WALK DOWN MEMORY LANE.

Take part of the day to review photos and share memories of your time together. Get comfy in your bed or couch, open your laptops or phones, and hunt through your photo libraries or social media to find photos spanning your relationship. If you have framed photos around your home, walk around and look together, talking about how you felt that day or why you wanted that photo up on the wall. Make sure to share why certain moments were important to you. Your partner will love to hear about all the things you treasure from your life together.

We love taking this time to look into your past so that you can think about what you want to bring into your future. What were some of the best adventures? What meals were your favorites? Why did certain moments feel so special? You can make a list of things you want to do again or find ways to recreate early moments to celebrate the romance. Reflect on the values of these moments together and create a moment of ceremony around how you can bring those into the future.

IDEA 3: PLANT A TREE, SUCCULENT, OR YOUR WEDDING FLOWERS.

If nature is calling your name and you have the space to do so, planting some extra greenery in and around the home together is a great way to commemorate your love. Whether it’s a budding tree, simple succulent, or your personal wedding flowers, there’s a bit of magic in seeing a tiny seed or sapling blossom into a thriving, growing thing. Many couples include a tree planting ceremony into their wedding ceremony to show how their love grows stronger over time, so we think this is a beautiful way to create a moment of ceremony together. You can choose a type of tree or another plant that embodies your relationship. A few ideas we love: 

• Bamboo - longevity, strength, and grace

• Birch - new beginnings

• Cherry - love and romance

• Chrysanthemum - fidelity, optimism, joy, and long life

• Fern - Confidence, sincerity, and shelter

• Jasmine - eternal and unconditional love

• Lavender - happiness, love, and devotion

• Primrose - eternal love

• Redwood - eternity

Take a moment of silence or reflection after you plant your personal piece of green to think about what you want it to represent and remind you of in the coming years. Share your hopes and dreams together and give each other a big smooch to commemorate the special moment.

These are just a few ideas about how to take time on your day to make it special, despite the circumstances. Let us know how you are planning on adapting your special day safely here!

— The Tapestry Team