We love living in the age where couples are creating their own modern definition of marriage. Rather than assuming the mantle of what marriage meant to generations past, we are deciding how to meaningfully deepen our partnerships and lifelong commitments to the one that holds our heart. With this intentional approach comes new ways of doing things at your marriage celebration. Rather than recycling yet another internet list of the same ideas, let’s talk about some new and fresh takes on how to include your loved ones in your modern wedding celebration.

CREATE MEANINGFUL RITUALS.

Invite Guests to Participate in Rituals

Incorporate intentional details into your wedding by inviting guests to participate in meaningful rituals. For example, a couple hosted a ceremony where guests received a custom essential oil blend representing family values, used during the ceremony to infuse the space with the couple’s unique energy. At another wedding, the groom and his dad played a game of catch, reminiscent of their routines together growing up.

Honor Memories of Loved Ones

Make the memories of loved ones who have passed an active part of your celebration. One couple created a memorial table with photos and had bridal party members light candles in front of each photo, symbolizing the presence of those loved ones in the celebration. If you have significant relationships that have passed, find a way to draw attention to those relationships as part of the event and create a meaningful way of incorporating their memory.

Involve Loved Ones in Spiritual Practices

We have so many examples from over the years of how friends or family offered small, cozy contributions to a larger celebration because the couple invited them to offer something they already practice in their lives. Invite friends or family to contribute to your celebration through practices they already engage in. Examples include a friend leading a meditation, a parent offering an opening prayer, a loved one officiating the ceremony, or a community member saying grace before the meal.

Include loved ones the morning of the wedding

Inviting a close circle of loved ones to spend quality time with you on the morning of your wedding is a beautiful way to start your special day. For some, this might mean engaging in beauty rituals together, such as having your hair and makeup done together. Others might prefer a private champagne toast to celebrate the day ahead.

More active options include a group yoga class to center and calm your nerves or a morning kayak trip to enjoy the serenity and tranquility of nature before the festivities begin. Additionally, consider setting aside time for a "first look" with someone special, such as a parent, sibling, or close friend, to share a private moment before the ceremony. These pre-wedding activities help ground you and create cherished memories with those who matter most, making your wedding day even more personal and unforgettable.

INCORPORATE FAMILY TRADITIONS.

Share Heritage Elements at Your Wedding

Celebrate your heritage by including family traditions in your wedding. One couple with Norwegian roots incorporated a tradition where the father of the bride lit a ceremonial fire and passed an axe to the groom, symbolizing trust and the merging of families. Often our Tapestry couples are blending two different cultures together. At one such wedding, we were able to do an Indian ceremony, Western ceremony, and Haldi ceremony, celebrating each side of the family’s heritage.

If you have heritage that is meaningful to you, inviting your family members to invoke and honor that heritage is a great way of structuring their participation without risking appropriation of someone else’s culture.

Special Songs by Loved Ones

We melted when the bride's father approached us about a special father-daughter dance. The bride gave her father carte-blanche to connect with us on any surprises he had in mind. The father knew he’d be a puddle of tears if he tried to sing a Sinatra song live, one that he often belted to in the kitchen with his daughter while making spaghetti dinners. Instead, he recorded himself singing the song with his friend’s band playing alongside him. We facilitated that recording to the DJ and flawlessly integrated it into their event, infusing it with meaning and reducing EVERYONE to a puddle of tears instead. Of course, the song doesn’t have to land in the special dances portion of the night. It could be incorporated into the ceremony, grand entry, exit, or another sentimental evening portion.

WORDS TO AND FROM GUESTS.

Audio Guest Book at DIY Wedding

One creative and memorable way to include your guests in your wedding celebration is by setting up an audio guest book. This involves placing a recording device, such as a microphone or a voice recorder, at a designated spot where guests can leave their messages. Sort of like a photobooth but for voice messages. These recordings make for sentimental listening experiences after the event, allowing you to relive the emotions and memorable moments from different perspectives. Additionally, some videographers can layer these audio clips over your wedding film, adding an extra personal touch to your wedding video. Some of our favorite providers for this service are After The Tone, which offers audio-only recordings, and Voast, which provides both audio and video kiosks. These options ensure that you capture your guests' unique voices and messages, creating a lasting memento of your special day.

Show Gratitude with Personal Love Notes

Another heartfelt way to include your guests in your wedding celebration is by sharing your gratitude through personal love notes. Writing a unique note for each guest may require considerable effort, but it is a significant gesture that shows your appreciation for their support. Another option is to write a love note but to all your guess in general and print it like the rest of your day-of paper goods.

You can place these notes at each guest's spot at the table or distribute them like favors. This personal touch adds a layer of intimacy to your celebration and allows each guest to feel valued and cherished as you embark on this new chapter in your life. Taking the time to acknowledge your guests' roles in your journey makes your wedding day even more special and memorable for everyone involved.

DIY WEDDINGS FOR AND BY GUESTS.

Incorporate photos of cherished memories in your design

Incorporating photos of loved ones and cherished memories into your wedding design is a beautiful way to celebrate your shared history and include your guests in the narrative of your relationship. It's not just about you, it's about everyone who has been a part of your journey. This can be done creatively, such as a table display featuring photos of you and your valued guests, arranging pictures on dining tables, or wrapping them around tree trunks at your venue. These visual stories add a personal touch to your wedding décor and serve as conversation starters, allowing guests to reminisce and share fond memories. Whether it's childhood photos, snapshots from family gatherings, or pictures from your relationship milestones, these images bring warmth and familiarity to your celebration, making everyone feel more than just connected-they feel valued and appreciated on your special day.

Enlist a Loved One for Design Elements

Involve your loved ones in creating design elements such as backdrops, signage, or other decorative pieces. This not only adds a unique and personal touch to your wedding but also allows them to contribute without the pressure of day-of responsibilities. This approach is particularly beneficial for DIY weddings, where the collaborative effort of family and friends enhances the event's personal feel. By having a creative friend or family member design these elements in advance, you infuse the celebration with their artistic flair and enable them to relax and enjoy the festivities on the big day. Whether it's a beautifully crafted welcome sign, a custom photo backdrop, or intricately designed table numbers, these contributions can make your wedding decor unique. Plus, it provides a particular way to honor and showcase the talents of those close to you, making the celebration even more meaningful and memorable for everyone involved.

CHOOSING FAMILY AND FRIENDS FOR CEREMONY AND WITNESS.

Ask Loved Ones to Officiate

One of the most significant ways to involve your guests in your wedding is by choosing a loved one to officiate the ceremony. This personal touch can bring intimacy to your wedding day. When a friend or family member assumes the role of officiant, they bring a unique perspective and heartfelt connection that a traditional officiant cannot replicate. For instance, a close friend who has been a witness to the evolution of your relationship can share personal anecdotes and insights, weaving a tapestry of memories that make the ceremony even more special and relatable for all attendees.

Similarly, having a family member officiate can infuse the proceedings with a sense of heritage and continuity, a feeling that is particularly significant for intergenerational celebrations. This approach also allows for a customized ceremony that reflects your unique values, beliefs, and love story. By selecting someone you trust and cherish to lead this pivotal moment, you ensure that your wedding ceremony is not just a formality, but a deeply personal celebration of your journey together.

Ask Loved Ones to Be Select Witnesses

Including your guests in your wedding by having them serve as select witnesses is a heartfelt way to honor the special people in your life. For example, one couple chose their children to sign as witnesses in a recent elopement ceremony for a blended family, making the moment deeply personal and inclusive.

Involving loved ones as witnesses can also be extended to other important figures in your life. Imagine the significance of having your moms, best friends, or other cherished individuals sign your marriage paperwork. This gesture acknowledges their importance in your life and creates a memorable and symbolic participation in your special day. By asking loved ones to serve as witnesses, you weave a more profound sense of connection and shared joy into the fabric of your wedding celebration, making it even more meaningful for everyone involved.

We love hearing about the ways you include your families into your weddings and elopements. Please share with us any you have created, used from our list, or found from friends so we can share them with others! If you are speaking our language and are looking for more guidance like this on how to create a personalized ceremony, check out our Ceremony Writing Guide. That, along with our Vow Writing Workbook, is the summary of ALL we have learned about creating meaningful marriage ceremonies through Tapestry.

— Kate Faoro Wright, Creative Director of Tapestry Event Co.