How Much Money Do I Really Save on an Intimate Wedding?
Let’s start here: WE ARE THE BIGGEST FANS OF INTIMATE WEDDINGS. But we are also here to clarify that having an intimate wedding does not often mean that you save money.
When you choose to host an intimate wedding, there are so many neat elements that you can pull from the wedding world, as well as the elopement world, to craft your perfect day. Because intimate weddings live in the in-between space, you get to define what that space looks like and who you want to come party inside of it. It rocks. But one of the biggest misbeliefs people have about hosting an intimate wedding is that you get to save “a bunch of money” as compared to hosting a larger wedding. So we are here to break down where you save, where you spend, and where you can expect your budget to land when it comes to planning an intimate wedding.
HOW WE DEFINE AN INTIMATE WEDDING.
To us, intimate weddings live in between the space of 10-30 people. Any smaller and the vibe skews towards a more low-key elopement. Any larger and the infrastructure required to host looks identical to a large wedding. Some define an intimate wedding as any guest count under 50, and that’s okay too. Based on our experience, we find that something in the dynamic shifts from 30 to 50 people. 30 people can be hosted at more nontraditional spaces with lower impact on the environment, while 50 people are a large enough herd to require a venue or paid private space to thrive socially. Groups of 30 can be moved from location to location in a self-sufficient manner with a fair amount of information provided. Groups of 50 need a lot more support to navigate event logistics successfully. So for those reasons, we define an intimate wedding as 30 people or less.
INTIMATE WEDDINGS, ACCOMMODATIONS, ETIQUETTE + COST.
When hosting an intimate wedding, you get to decide whether you’re footing the bill for accommodations or whether guests are expected to pay their own way. We will be the first to say that Emily Post has nothing to offer on the matter; accommodation etiquette for an intimate group does not have a precedent. Accommodations take all shapes and sizes for an intimate group, and often vary depending on the location of the celebration.
In more rural or remote areas, couples may book accommodations on behalf of their group to guarantee that they secure a bed for everyone invited. Staying together also encourages everyone to participate in shared experiences and activities throughout their stay and often works best for families and/or close groups of friends. If you are considering footing the bill for beds, be mindful of the cost of paying for the stay (likely $50-$100 per person per night) as well as any communal food or supplies required to sustain your group ($30-$80 per person per day).
In more populous areas, couples may make recommendations for local places to stay so that guests have adequate information to choose their own adventure. Dispersed accommodations give people the freedom to sleep, eat, and explore on their own time between scheduled events during their stay. It also leaves the incidental travel costs up to your guests, rather than passing on responsibility to the two of you as hosts. If you are considering dispersed accommodations, budget for communication tools like a website, email list, or physical weekend guide ($5-$80 per person) to ensure they know where to be and when throughout their stay. You might also add a welcome or wedding gift as a way to further connect to each guest and thank them for their travel (cost varies).
CEREMONY + RECEPTION INFRASTRUCTURE.
Intimate weddings have the fun possibility of hosting your group at more nontraditional spaces for your celebratory event(s). As a result, you might save a portion of your budget by avoiding venue fees. But with nontraditional spaces, you have to look at the hosting infrastructure that comes with it in order to prepare for a positive experience. For example...
Hosting a reception dinner on an AirBnB lawn? Amazing! Be sure that you check local weather conditions and layer in rentals that help protect against inclement weather possibilities.
Hiking out into the snow to have an intimate ceremony in the trees? Fantastic. Be sure that you ask your guests to gear up for the cold and provide sources of heat (cocoa, a fire, Hot Hands, etc.) to keep them happy.
Looking to have a pop-up dinner on private land? Can’t wait! Know that you will have to bring in the tables, chairs, lighting, and dish ware to make it happen.
We find that couples who plan for nontraditional settings save money on the location or venue fee to start, but end up spending a significant budgetary portion ($500-$1,500 for ceremony; $3,500-$10,000 for reception) in rentals and other services/supplies to successfully host and provide comfort to their guests in these spaces.
FEEDING YOUR GUESTS.
In addition to the spaces you’re booking, remember that people have to eat. Food is an easy activity to rally people around… and somewhat essential for survival. As a result, it’s a great investment to make in hosting your celebration -- no one says no to a good meal! If you’re all staying in the same space, you will need to budget for meals and snacks ($30-$80 per person per day). If you’re staying in dispersed locations, you’ll need to consider which meals you’re providing as part of your event.
We advocate for hosting one meal per day if your guests are traveling for a weekend affair, whether it’s in a remote location or smack dab in the middle of the city ($40-$80 per person per day). If you are asking guests to travel to a more remote location, you might consider providing more meal support to help make the stay more enjoyable and stress-free. If you are hiring a caterer for any of your meals, remember to budget for their services (average $20 per staff person per hour; typically 1 staff per 5 guests, minimum 2 staff for all group sizes) in addition to the headcount cost of the meal and drinks.
DOES AN INTIMATE WEDDING SAVE YOU MONEY?
To save you the math effort, we assembled our base budget estimates (accommodations, infrastructure, and meals) below. Know that this is a general range of costs for your essential categories. We calculated these costs for a 3 day, 2 night experience as most of our couples opt to host intimate wedding weekends.
| Category | Low-End Budget, 30 People | High-End Budget, 30 People |
| Accomodations | $50 x 2 nights x 30 people = $3,000 | $100 x 2 nights x 30 people = $6,000 |
| Communication Tools | $5 x 30 people = $150 | $80 x 30 people = $2,400 |
| Ceremony Infrastructure | $500 | $1,500 |
| Reception Infrastructure | $3,500 | $10,000 |
| Meals | $30 meal x 3 days x 30 guests = $2,700 | $80 x 3 days x 30 guests = $7,200 |
| Catering Staff | $0 Self-Catered | $20 per hour x 6 hours x 6 staff = $720 |
| Essential Categories Total | $7,150 | $27820 |
While our low and high end budget estimates have quite the distance between them, we’ve seen intimate weddings land on either side of the spectrum AND in between. The most variable intimate wedding costs come down to the decisions you make about location and hosting values, and often look quite predictable when it comes to personal services you hire. Read on. ;)
PERSONAL SERVICE VENDORS.
Every intimate wedding is different because every couple values different personal services. That, and not everyone requires the same level or type of services. For example, some couples might value covering beauty services for some of their friends and family, while other couples may require no beauty services at all. The beautiful thing is that your personal service spend can be flexible based on what you value AND how much of your budget your essential categories require.
To understand where your personal service budget will land, regardless of the size of your guest count, write down your best estimates for each of these categories. If you don’t have estimates, do some quick internet research to preview price points and packages for some of the services you’re seeking in your area. Note the categories that you will DIY to save on costs.
Here are the categories to consider for personal services when filling out the remainder of your budget together:
Planner/coordinator
Photography and/or videography
Officiant, celebrant, or religious ceremony provider
Attire
Beauty services
Floral
Entertainment
Transportation
Photos courtesy of Henry Tieu Photography
By now, you should be able to answer the following questions:
How far are you asking people to travel?
What expenses are you covering on your guests' behalves?
What expenses are you asking your guests to carry?
What categories are you hoping to hire vendors for?
What categories are you DIYing?
Are there any categories you are eliminating all together?
An intimate wedding may save couples money under the right conditions and with specific values and hosting decisions, while for others it may not. Some decide to host an intimate wedding for reasons outside of budgetary savings. Remember that your decision is unique to you.
If you can answer those questions and, using our guidance, attach estimates to your costs, then you’re in business! You have a solid budgetary foundation to make decisions together about whether an intimate wedding is the right path for you. We hope that this estimate framework helps you get clearer about your options. Know that, whatever you decide, we are here rooting you on as you plan with intention!