Why You Want a Long Term Relationship with Your Planner
It’s no secret: we love planning. We live for the process of collaborating with our clients and figuring out how to frame their love within the art of events and hosting, whether in an elopement for two or wedding for 100-plus. It’s magic, and we’re obsessed (to put it lightly). There are many benefits to having a long-term relationship with your planning team. Whether you’re considering a day-of coordination or full planning package (or anything in between), here’s why you want to tag your planners into the process early and often.
The longer you work together, the longer you have to cultivate a relationship that touches your real lives.
Having a friendship with your planner isn’t required (though we welcome it). The time that we allocate to meetings is intended to guide you to your marriage day and focuses on logistics and advice. If personalities mesh well, you may have some cordial conversation included in your meetings about your pets or hiking. At Tapestry, we prioritize ten to fifteen minutes of time at the beginning of each client meeting or call to “ground down” with our clients to ask about the latest news, to follow up on life events since our last chat, and to get an emotional update on the overall process before we dive in. But we want to make sure that we make good use of your time, so meeting time with your planner will mostly stay narrowed in on the task at hand: planning your special day.
Think about a work relationship you have that is strictly professional. Now, compare that to a relationship at work that has a layer of friendship added. Maybe you go to happy hours on Fridays, frequently share your lunch breaks together, or even invite one another over for backyard hang time on the weekends. Notice the difference between how those two relationships feel? That’s the difference we’re talking about. We won’t invite ourselves over to share your hammock just yet, but a little extra time to invest in our relationship with you means that we have more opportunity to plug into your life on social media, follow the ebb and flow of the year leading up to your marriage, and share in what life and love mean for the two of you in the context of your whole life, not just the marriage portion of it.
When we understand what you value most in life, you can trust that we will prioritize accordingly and reflect that in your planning process.
Do you spend your free time unplugging with family or nature? Then you can be darn sure we won’t schedule any meetings that interfere or send you emails on your weekend that tempt you into your inbox. Do you have a fur baby that is a part of the family? Let’s meet at dog-friendly bars and coffee shops so you can bring them along for good-boy pets. Do you appreciate travel, books, or cooking? Guaranteed we will send you hot tips, links, and ideas outside of our planning process so you can tell us about them after. The result? A planning journey that feels aligned with your family values and your lifestyle.
Going a layer deeper, there are lines of communication that open up when you know that we get your values. It takes time to build trust in a relationship, and while you may have an initial click with your planner, there is nothing that can replace a year of communication and connection. In a single year, we see our couples through life, loss, career transformation, home purchase, relocation, illness, healing, and growth. Adversity and change are a part of the human experience, and, when you see us hold space for and adapt to it in the planning process, you know we can and will handle what life throws our way on the day of your celebration. We will take care of your whole human self because we care, and that is made all the more possible when you give us the gift of time to show you that we want to and know how to take care of you.
When the planning process is aligned with your family values, your celebration becomes the declaration of and the launch into your new family culture.
When you ask a married couple, “Do you feel any different being married?” what you often hear in reply is, “Not really.” That answer can come from one of two places:
Option 1: It may come from the fact that their celebration was a blip on their family map, an isolated event they did one time to “make it official” or fulfill a traditional idea of what it means to “get married.” Now that it’s over, it’s back to business as usual. This is the kind of experience we avoid like the plague at Tapestry.
Option 2: It may come from the fact that their year leading up to their celebration was spent in a very intentional way. They continued to invest in the growth of their relationship and, through the planning process, had conversations and breakthroughs in the areas of creative expression, budgeting, teamwork, personal expectations, and family values. Cultivating this celebration was an integral part of their story — an opportunity to further develop their unique family culture — and they treated it as such. This is the kind of experience we nurture at Tapestry.
If you fall in the first bucket, no judgment here. We admire anyone who knows what they’re about and can clearly articulate it with their partner. If you fall in the second bucket, you’re a member of the Tapestry family. You want to spend a year cultivating a relationship with your planner, as well as spend a year inside of the planning process as a couple, co-creating ways to keep it aligned with your lifestyle and values. That single sentence is a big deal. We are here to offer guidance on how to cultivate your family culture in the year leading up to marriage, as well as keep the experience of planning your celebration aligned with your lifestyle. Wins all around!
When your planner understands your family culture, you’re free to enjoy your celebration.
You heard me: Freedom is on the line! Do you know someone who was so steeped in the logistics of their planning process that, when it came to their day, they just couldn’t let go of the reins? They kept scanning things with their eyes to make sure it came together the way they envisioned. They couldn’t pull out of their inner architect to participate in the experience they spent so much time envisioning. They stayed attached to their checklist and forgot to plug into their partner. It’s as heartbreaking as it sounds, and we don’t want that to be you! When you have confidence in your planner, and when they have the opportunity to plug into your family culture, the trust you create in that relationship allows you to hand the reins over and give yourself your marriage experience. It’s just that easy, it’s just that intentional, and that’s why it’s magic.
— Kate, Tapestry Creative Director
Photos courtesy of Weiss Photo + Film.
“Look no further for your coordinator! Before we even met Kate, we inquired with her because her website is beautiful (something that’s reassuring when looking for a wedding coordinator)! In speaking with her over FaceTime, we found Kate to be a positive and organized planner with an authentic care for us and our big day. We knew immediately she was who we wanted to hire. We took Kate on for her Day-Of Coordinating Service, which meant we had a couple of planning meetings with her, but were mostly left to organize everything and then pass the baton off the month-of. These meetings and the month-of takeover as the vendor correspondent were AMAZING gifts to us. Even though with this package, we were picking our own decor and vendors, she gave us such a thorough and helpful list that we felt like we were covering bases we didn’t even know existed for weddings! Then, when Kate took over the month-of as the main correspondent, she was the only person we had to communicate our questions through, which is extremely helpful as you get closer to the wedding and your family/friends start rolling in! Kate and her services stand out to us because she is simultaneously mellow while having every detail completely covered. The best example I can think of is that on our wedding, we had an unexpected downpour of rain (I’m talking about flash flooding here) 15 minutes before our ceremony. Kate zoomed in and out of our hiding room, constantly smiling and making us feel totally cared for. She arranged the outdoor ceremony to be moved into an indoor room of the venue, and even though we weren’t outside to see it, we heard countless guests singing her praises for communicating with them, moving decor out of the rain, and making an intimate ceremony space from the ground up. She even had champagne waiting for us as we processed from our ceremony! If Kate was stressed, we never would have known it — and that’s what you want! Kate has a way of making you feel held and loved through the entire process of the wedding — we highly, highly, HIGHLY recommend her for your events!”